When Affirmations Sometimes Do Not Work...

Have you ever been told to do affirmations and that they'll change your life? For many people simply affirming that they're life is great when in fact it's shite is enough to get them to the point where they turn around and make some amazing changes until it does change.

But what if standing in front of the mirror uttering "I love you" to yourself in your most believable voice (that others in the house cannot hear!!!) makes you feel like a complete twat? Worse, after saying that you feel like you've just lied to yourself and now you're even shiter than you were before because you cannot even tell yourself the truth? I did that... for years. Because so many people told me it worked. It did for them, but not for me.

Over the years I've been lambasted for saying that 'affirmations don't work for me' again and again by well meaning people who have used affirmations successfully.

You know what though, lately people have been saying "I know! I've been doing those bloody things for years and my life is still shite/my husband still cheats/I still have acne/I'm still sad/etc etc".

And you know what, when you get to a certain point, it's very possible that affirmations will not work for you. So what then? If you're like me you'll grasp your copy of You Can Heal Your Life very tightly and scream at it "why won't you work for me you FUCKER??!!!"

It's taken awhile to find an answer. This works for me. It might not for you and if it doesn't, keep searching until you find something that does.

For me I discovered that while I couldn't accept the whole truth of "I love myself" I can accept that one day I might be able to love myself. I opened myself to the possibility. What does that look like? To me it looks like this:

"While I might loathe myself right now, one day I might find something about myself that I like."
"While I might not like my fitness levels right now, one day I might. "

This has helped me. Affirming that "I do good things for people and one day I might love myself for this" actually cracks my well protected heart open a little bit and enables me to see what others see.

Saying that "Wow I give a lot of my time away to strangers trying to help them emotionally, that would mean there's a facet of me that's a good person, this means that I am possibly a good person".

This has lead to "at times I'm a great person!" which is a step in the right direction.

So if you're struggling with affirmations, and feel like you're lying to yourself, perhaps try opening yourself to the possibility of your affirmation in the future and affirm that you're heading there! Imagine how you'll feel when you reach your goal whatever it might be. Some of us are so sad, and have been for so long, that sometimes the possibility that something is possible is just the first step to anything. Baby steps. Chunk it down as far as you can.

This is a little something to go towards your mental fitness from me.

Merry Christmas!